It Can Be Both
If there’s anything new I’ve learned this past week it is this: There is a paradox in our experiences right now; a duality of the difficult and the beautiful.
I’m learning that we can be both sad and grateful at the same time. We can be both disappointed and hopeful, worried and confident. Whatever the feelings, they can be felt together and apart.
My daughter, Isabella, tore her ACL earlier this year, and we were sad that she had to be dropped off alone for surgery last week. But I was also happy she was finally able to GET the surgery, which had been delayed for almost two months. I’m disappointed that she has to defer her dance training in L.A. for a year, and yet thankful to have her home with us for a year of recovery and teaching at the studio.
I’m tired of telling my kids that I don’t know how to do fifth-grade math or seventh-grade tech or high school Google Classroom. I’m also beyond appreciative of the teachers that take those questions ALL day long from ALL of their students. They’ve also done Facetime, sent emails, and snail-mail letters of encouragement – all bright spots in what seems like an endlessly gray time.
I’m worried about the endless brand-new logistics of pivoting to virtual and in-person recitals (where we will serve one student at a time). And I’m grateful too, for a team who is willing to go the extra mile to celebrate our students as they finish the season strong.
I’m grieving with the senior students for whom this is not just the end of the school year, but it’s the end of their dance journey with our studio. Yet I’m confident that they will take the time to process these losses and shine as an example of resilience.
I’m concerned about what opening up our businesses and schools will look like this fall, and still optimistic that we will come out of this stronger as a community.
I’m wondering about finishing construction on a second location this year, but I’m also committed to the positive impact we can bring to the Boys and Girls Club as our community partner.
I’m distressed by the continued loss of lives and livelihoods, and still hopeful for future innovations in medicine and wellness … developments I know experts around the world are devoted to.
This list could go on and on, but you get the idea.
Yes, it’s POSSIBLE to be sad, worried, grieving, tired, concerned, wondering, distressed AND be thankful, confident, appreciative, optimistic, committed, and hopeful. It’s also NORMAL.
That’s the way we were made – wired by our Creator as complex individuals with complex emotions. It makes sense that this duality of feelings would be more present than ever now, as we cope with what’s uncertain and what’s known; what’s out of our control, and what’s possible.
It is a reminder that it’s OK to give each other grace. It’s OK to feel upset that we’re in this situation … and still love our neighbors. It’s OK to have ups and downs. It’s OK to ask for help.
It’s in these times that I am personally leaning into my faith. My faith in others and my faith in the ONE who can do more than I can … the ONE who holds the future.
The verse below, in particular, speaks to the deepest part of me right. No matter your beliefs, maybe it speaks to you too:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight.”
May we all lean into the paradox of our feelings and the trust when we may not understand.
I hope this encourages you today. <3